How the Birth Chart Dispels Death
June, an Earth sign, was born on the cusp of Virgo-Libra on September 22nd. The year she was born, the twenty-second day of September, was also the first day of Autumn. June, rooted in Mother Earth, traveled into the world on the first day of the first season of the rest of her life.
June, the most astrologically grounded of my three children, has departed Mother Earth. She has taken wings and soared above the material world. June is in the heavens. My heavens. Where the clouds are fluffy pillows perfect for naps and the stars sparkle at all hours of the day.
How does an earthly being become a celestial being? There exists a thin threshold between life and death. I know because I watched my daughter cross it. I wonder, are the stars and the galaxies part of the material world or part of the heavens? Does it matter? It matters to me because I have two children here in the material world, but I don’t only have two children. I have three children, and I must know where my second born now resides.
I struggle to pinpoint Death as it is elusive. The transformative power of death has completely changed my life for better and for worse.
Death is not the end. It is not stagnant. It may be the end to one thing, which is life, but Death is the beginning of something I don’t understand. In my world, death is not the end and I’ll tell you why.
When a child is taken away, parents are left with so much love, and no where to place it. Some refer to this as grief. In part, it is grief. I also believe it is what it is, which is love. Many books have told me grief is the love we have no where to place after our loved one dies. I believe this to be true, and I also believe love is love. I can feel love for June that isn’t weighted in grief. Pure love. An active love. Not a love where June is the shadow trailing behind it.
Love exists and grows as do the layers of an oyster shell. Neither are linear. Neither is two-dimensional. Love fuses with other love creating a remarkable and unbreakable chain of strength. So too, a haven for other forms of life’s happiness to spawn.
One form of joy for a parent that arises from love’s layers for a child is in the anticipation of who a child will one day become. How they will grow? What will their personalities will be like? What sort of things will they enjoy? Will they be funny or serious? Who will this tiny creature born from my womb grow to be?
After planting seeds in the spring we wait patiently and nurturingly for the ultimate moment to arrive. The day the seeds fullest potential is reached. After tending to the seeds all summer long, the day arrives when what we planted months before is in full bloom.
The greatest gift I could ever be given in this life as a parent is to see my children in full bloom.
I will never know June as an adolescent or adult. I am not a parent who has been afforded the luxury of knowing my child for the rest of my life.
From time to time, I read the astrology of my living children. Reading my children’s astrological charts brings me a bit of knowledge I otherwise wouldn’t have had. A bit of understanding. A lot of perspective.
It brings me joy to see that strong personalities and characteristics which surface daily in our household are innate to my children’s beings, and not a reflection of my parenting. It helps me have patience and allows me to realize that we will work through character differences in time. It reminds me we are learning how to live our individual lives collectively, but that we are indeed individuals and not mere extensions of one another. Each person brings something different to the dinner table at night and this keeps our family alive and engaged.
I can’t help but smile when I see my children exhibit their shadows and flex their strengths. I nurture the goodness in them. I love them more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. The love I have for my children is impenetrable, yet relaxed. Watching them grow into their personalities is mystical and enchanting. A slow crescendo to the great reveal of an adult. A gift I know not to take for granted.
There is mysticism too in who we will become as we grow together as a family. Who we will become despite June not physically being present with us. June is gone, but she is still very much here with us. Each person in our family carries her with them in a different way, and I trust that she’s watching us all grow.
I ask June to pay close attention to her older sister, and to give her a beyond-the-veil-nudge from time to time to make the right choice. I ask June to embrace her when she’s having a hard day. To give her body and mind strength to grow into the beautiful person I know she is meant to be.
June’s influence is invisible, yet powerful. June will always hold immense power over me and our family. June is the extra bit of glue that holds us so firmly together.
I read June’s astrological chart when I am done with my living children’s charts. I read my living children’s chart’s first so I can get a sense of what is believable and what is not. I am a believer, but not a sucker. I have the living proof comparison in front of me as to whether the chart is speaking the truth. I compare the chart to the child. Once I am sufficiently convinced of utter truths about my living children, I move onto June’s chart.
I enter June’s place of birth, her date of birth, and the time at which she was born: 1:43pm, and click the button on a free chart reading website that reveals to me more than I already know about June. I enter this very important information into several websites which all wield a similar tale about June. The story of whom June would have one day become.
Reading June’s chart is very different from reading my living children’s charts. June died when she was one-and-a-half. She is not in front of me as living testament to what I read.
As I read June’s chart I learn things about June I would never have learned unless she were here with me now. Parts of her I wasn’t privy to seeing grow. Aspects of her personality I will never know. Who June would have been if she had the chance to grow up.
Can you imagine your child never growing up? Seems cruel of me to ask, but neither could have I.
Fair and just, responsible and successful, earnest, independent, optimistic, confident, free-spirited, self-expressive and creative. These are some of the overarching adjectives used to describe June in her birth chart. These are adjectives I can only imagine her growing into as she one day grew into herself.
Elegant. Elegant hurts. It stays with me. June was the most elegant one-and-a-half year old you could ever meet. Her long and dainty piano player fingers. June was just elegant.
The birth chart paints a beautiful picture of who June would have been if she were still alive. The birth chart aligns with everything I know about June. I believe it and accept it as truth because there is nothing to tell me otherwise. It allows me to get to know June more deeply despite her being gone. It accompanies my wild imagination in its pursuit to work through her not being here, and to not allow Death to be the end.
I am building on the memory of June. Who would have thought you could build on the memory of someone who no longer physically exists? I could never have imagined, yet here I am.
I can never remember all the tales the chart tells, therefore every time I read it, it’s as if I am learning about June for the first time, every time.
The birth chart is also the ghost of June. It’s the shadow that follows me in the night. It keeps me awake and wondering what life would have been like if we hadn’t lost her and if she hadn’t died so brutally of cancer.
The birth chart states that those born on September 22nd are singled out by fate. An ill summary of June’s life.
It also states that those born on September 22nd hold the strong belief that everything will work out.
On days I enter Junes birth chart into various sites, I turn curiosity into reality. The information at my fingertips has the power to reignite the spirit of June. Momentarily, I bask in the thought of what every parent dreams: who my June would have one day become.
